Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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