she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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