3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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