Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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