i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
third nipple confirmed
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
