i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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