Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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