when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm both gender and math confused
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
