So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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