no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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