He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
This is my gift to your gina
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize