help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
