its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
