YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Just high enough for therapy.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
