I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
