..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
