Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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