Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize