dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
