idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Watching her eat just hurts me
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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