why didn't you poke me back
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Sext me about skeletons
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
