question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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