i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
