Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize