For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
