I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
