I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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