I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
