Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Oh god it's open bar.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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