I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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