Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
