how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
