p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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