with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
