I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
