I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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