I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Quick, to the slutcave!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
