I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
