I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
