i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Randomize
