Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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