all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize