Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
