Cold hands, warm shart.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
