Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
