he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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