when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
