You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I have aggressive nipples.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
