If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
