moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
