walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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