Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
