He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
