Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
