Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
