We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
