so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
