so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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