Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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