after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
