Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
