That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
