Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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